“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”    ~ Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

I came back from a doctor visit with a pic of my colon innards. Now, Hubby's searching for my stash of mammogram pics.   ~ Emery Lamb

"I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game."   ~ Don Rickles

Anyone missing a conjunction? Asking for an ampersand.   ~ Emery Lamb

"Food is tricky, like milk: It starts out good, then it becomes bad, then it becomes disgusting, then it becomes dangerous, then it becomes cheese. Way to turn it around, milk!"   ~ Demetri Martin, Live (At the Time)

What if Harry had been Harriet, Ronald was Ronnie, and Hermione was Herman? Could Harriet Potter have been as popular? I'd like to think so.   ~ Emery Lamb

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense"   ~ Steve Landesberg

Overheard kiddle and friend at pool. "Wanna play dead-man's float?" "What's that?" "It's like hide-and-go-seek, but it's not." "OK." #kidspeak   ~ Emery Lamb

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”    ~ Rita Rudner

Americans love Wales.That's why an extraordinary amount of money is raised each year for Save the Wales.  ~ Emery Lamb