Emery Lamb
No one can resist a leg o' lambTestimonials
Are you sick and tired of self-aggrandizing comedians who plaster their web sites, flyers, and posters with five-star reviews and grandiose testimonials? Emery will have none of that! Instead, Emery reviews the audience.
Fairbanks, oh sorry, I mean Ester, Alaska! I’m honored that you’re willing to leave your cozy, warm homes when it’s 30 below outside and come see me. What a lovely audience you are. Oh, wait, why are you leaving?
Portland! Portland! Portland! Portland! Portland! Portland! Portland! This is the first time I’ve been to your fair city. As I look out and see your faces – Oh dear, that looks painful. How many holes are in your face? And why…
Thank you Inversnecky, Scotland! Too familiar? Ok, thank you, Inverness, Scotland! You have been such a lovely audience, and I must commend you on your politeness and quietude. That one soul clapped for way too long. I was waiting for the chorus of applause to join in. Oh well, I’ve always loved solos.
It’s Price, Utah! Land of surprisingly fancy and super clean public restrooms, as well as an incredibly well-organized landfill. How’s everybody doing? Oh, really. That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that. How do you feel about that? Is that so? I know, it’s rough, but you’ve got to focus on you. Take care of yourself. Uh huh… oh….hmmm…well…awww…whewww…Is there someone you can talk to about this? I kinda’ forgot I’m supposed to be performing right now.
This website is designed by MemyseIfandi with some help from Divi Elegant Themes for WordPress, Laughing Squid as host, and Hover as domain registry.
NOTE: any misspellings, errors of a grammatical nature, or excruciatingly awful and preposterous metaphors is the sole responsibility of Memyselfandi and should be reported to the proper authorities:
(In the good ol’ US of A that would be)
The Office of Trivial Pursuits
Department of Typographic Deportment
Syntax Enforcement Subunit
Washington, D.C. 20050
(For the rest of planet Earth, you are encouraged to submit a letter to)
The Commission for Decommissioning the Language
Division of Rewording
File 13
Tristan da Cunha, South Atlantic Ocean via Capetown TDCU 1ZZ
Emery Lamb is also associated with Hoodoo Preproductions (of course you’ve heard of them-they’re the recipient of multiple awards for contributing to the field, nay, art of comedy since 2017).